Love (52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks – Week 7)

You’d think that this particular prompt for the 52 Ancestors Writing Challenge would be easy for me. After all, isn’t my maiden name LOVE? Well, strangely, I truly didn’t feel the urge to write about that family right now. I’ve already done enough of that lately. Consequently, since it’s the month of Valentine’s Day, I did feel as though I should write about the various kinds of love that fill our lives on a daily basis.

The love that comes to us first in our lives is the one we have for our parents, whether they are still with us or not. For some people, that type of love can be complicated. Way too often, there is some form of conflict between parents and their children, even to the point of never speaking to each other again. I’ve been lucky. I loved both of my parents very much, even though I didn’t really know my Father well at all. But I loved him and he adored me. His pet name for me was “poochie pie.” (You have to love someone who calls you that!)

My Mother and I loved each other very much, too, even throughout my ‘filled-with-angst’ teenage years. I knew so many people who had huge fights with their moms all the time. I never understood that and was lucky to escape those. I cannot ever remember her raising her voice at me at all. (Of course, she did with my brother on an almost-daily basis, so I know she could!)

Next, if we have siblings, there is the love (and possibly sometimes the opposite!) that we have for them. There were only two of us in my family and we truly did love each other. I will admit that there were times during my life that I didn’t much ‘like’ him, but we always got over those periods and the love stayed with us until the day he died. I love him still.

Then there is the kind of love we have for our friends. I’ve been very lucky in my life to make and have many friends over the years, some of whom I’ve actually known since the first grade. Friends fill my life with happiness and love, something which I rely upon heavily these days. My friends kept me going through the dark days of my initial despair when my husband passed away. They continue to do so. I’m forever grateful for that kind of love.

I have to include love for other family members at this point. Although I didn’t have a big family while I was growing up, I loved each of my known cousins, aunts and uncles. I didn’t get to see them often enough. Luckily, through my pursuit of genealogy, I’ve found many more cousins and even aunts and uncles that I never knew I had! Some of those cousins have lived here in my hometown all of my life, and I never knew them. How lucky I am to have found them, and how lucky I am to have the love of my husband's family, as well. My family has grown in ways that I could never imagine, and so has my heart.

On a separate note, there is the love we have for that special someone, the one who completes our lives and makes it worth living. I was fortunate to have that extraordinary love for 35 years with the man I called  “Moon of My Life, My Sun and My Stars.” Some people never have that with the person they marry, and I feel such sadness for them - and complete and absolute joy for myself that I was blessed to have that person for as long as I did. He is in my heart and will be always. 

Finally, there is the love we have for our children, grandchildren, and in my case, great grandchildren. There is nothing like that love. Even if they are not around often, the love is there and it’s deep and abiding. It never waivers. One can have those “words” or “moments” with them (even times of separation), but the love never leaves. It stays forever. I hope that if you are reading this post, it has for you, as well.

I’ve found myself literally crying many times when I hear of others who no longer speak to a parent or a child or a grandchild. It’s heartbreaking, even agonizing, for me. What a loss for both parties. Life is too short to spend it alone and deprived of the love of that person who should be so meaningful to you; that person who is literally blood of your blood.

Love? Through all its various forms, love can be deep, occasionally wild and passionate, sometimes soft and warm, often powerful, and every so often fleeting. Yet even for those moments when love has left us, its memory nestles in our hearts and stays there forever.

Be sure to tell someone you love them today. We’re not guaranteed a tomorrow.

This is a Valentine that my Mother gave to her Mother 

when she was a little girl. Love for others is strong in my family.

@2019 Copyright by Carla Love Maitland